In every part and corner of our life, to lose oneself is to be a gainer, to forget oneself is to be happy. ☮


Well this takes it back…

Well this takes it back…


When I was a child, I’d come home after school to an empty house. My father had flown the coop. My mother worked as a maid in a hotel. It was lonely, so I brought in a baby squirrel I’d found and kept him in a shoe box. And then one day when I came home, he looked sickly. He was dead already, but I didn’t know that. I’d forgotten to… feed him for a couple days. So I took him out of the box, and I laid him on the table, and I prayed my heart out for several hours. And when my mother came home and found us, she screamed bloody murder, and she picked him up and threw him in the garbage. She worked hard, my mother. She was exhausted, and she couldn’t have known how cruel that was. But I cried and cried, saying, “God didn’t answer my prayers.” I remember, my mother was pouring herself a whiskey- the Martin family cure for everything. She looked at me and laughed. “God always answers our prayers, Judy. It’s just rarely the answer we’re looking for.”


”Imagine if we kissed or something… That would’ve been a disaster!”

 ”A huge disaster.”


the rich white boy is 100% scarier than the clown like honestly I’m not even making a white boy joke like this character is scaring me more than the damn clown

Real talk


This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal.

Today, I just got the keys to my first house.

Give it time.

"If I could grow wings, I could fly. Only people can’t grow wings. Real or not real?"
"Real. But people don’t need wings to survive."
"Mockingjays do."

(Source: musesprayberry)

One of the hardest things about chronic illness is the waiting. Waiting for the medication to kick in. Waiting for the prescriptions to be filled. Waiting for paperwork to clear. Waiting for the next doctor’s appointment. Waiting to please just get better already or to finally keel over dead.

Over the years I’ve gotten used to the pain, but the waiting never gets easier.

The Beginning

I find that I too often dwell my soul in the past. Mostly, I get lost within my childhood, I try to imagine my life different; maybe if I had done one single thing different I could have ended up in a different place today. I find it hard to get past a lot of it. Maybe that is because I lost most of my childhood, it went spiraling down into this black hole and somewhere in the mix, many memories somehow got plastered into my brain. Memories no child should ever even have to endure. I look at my son and even though he gives me a bit of grief, I would kill anyone who ever tried to destroy his childhood how mine was shattered. This has been an extremely hard process for me to go through, unfortunately, it’s only the beginning of a journey I hope to find some healing from. I don’t know if I can ever be fully healed from the way my life began, but I hope maybe this can be a start.